4 Tips For Helping Your Child Through Divorce
When you walk down the aisle and take your vows, you hope that it’s a marriage that will last for eternity. However, statistics show that many people don’t have such good luck when it comes to eternal bliss. It’s hard enough to get through such a rough time in your life without children, but when there are kids involved, it complicates things more than you could have ever imagined. Their needs must come above your pain and suffering. Even if it was a clean break and you will remain friends, your child will need assurance from you and know that their place in both of your hearts is unchanged. Here are four tips to help your children get through your divorce:
1. Assure Them It’s Not Their Fault
By nature, children always fear to be in trouble. They also worry that the breakup of their parents could be related to something they did. It doesn’t matter if the child is ornery or the best kid on the planet, they will feel guilt. You must assure them that nothing they did or didn’t do contributed to the divorce. They need this reassurance from you to mentally deal with the situation.
2. Let Them Speak to A Professional
Children often cannot vocalize what they are feeling inside, and this is especially true of a younger child. A therapist that deals with kids can help them to understand the situation and deal with it appropriately. They utilize play therapy and other tactics that allow the child to show how they feel. They can give them the tools to combat the anger, sadness, or whatever emotional storm is brewing inside.
3. Never Talk Ill of The Other Party
It’s easy to be mad at your ex and want to sling mud. Though, you must remember that the child loves the other person as much as they love you. No matter what they did or didn’t do, it’s still their parent. Make a pact with the other party to never speak ill of one another in front of the child. Try to be friends above all else. You will be attached to this person for a very long time, so it’s best to be friends rather than enemies.
4. Put on A Brave Face
Your child may see you cry, and that’s okay. Nevertheless, don’t become an emotional basket case in front of them. If you need to break down and sob, do it in another room where they can’t see. You want life to get back to normal. There will be many adjustments, and if they know that you can’t handle them, then they may also have a difficult time with it. Children look to you for guidance, and they need you to be strong.
Moving On Strong
There is nothing easy about the divorce process. Consequently, you must put your pain and suffering aside and consider your child. Take time to explain things to them on their level. Never let them feel that they had anything to do with this, and above all else, let them know that they will still be loved by everyone involved. By being proactive and explaining things to them, you will ease their mind and make the transition easier.